Monday, June 30, 2014

Star demonstrates the very definition of irony

I came across this the other day, and was immediately torn between laughing hysterically and headdesking repeatedly.

Do you think Star Magazine has even the faintest understanding of the irony involved here? I'm guessing not, given that last sentence: "We just hope he'll still be around to help save the day next time someone wants to take over the planet!". Um, probably not if magazines like Star keep printing stories like this...

And an Avengers insider? Oh please. It's either a fictional source, or it's Tony Stark trolling the media again. My money's on the latter. Surely no one but Tony Stark could illicit that hilarious facial expression in the picture on the right??

Also, LOOK!! Just as I predicted, it seems that Black Widow has ditched Hawkeye in favour of Captain America. Two down, three to go...

Transcript under the cut




HAWKEYE'S FRUSTRATION: I Can't Do My Job!

The Avenger loses his cool at fans in NYC

He may be the Avenger with the least merchadise to his name, but Clint ‘Hawkeye’ Barton looks to be struggling with the fame his role in the Battle of New York has thrust upon him.
When approached by fans in a Manhattan eatery, Hawkeye reportedly ignored them, before loudly commenting to his companion ‘F***ing parasites should just leave me alone so I can do my job.”

One witness claims the huffy hero even removed the battery from a fellow patron’s phone, claiming he was “completely within [his] rights to do it.”

Immediately following the incident, Barton left the restaurant with his friend, and imediately ducked into a cab.

An Avengers insider told us “Hawkeye’s been having real trouble with his newfound fame. He’s so used to flying under the radar that he really doesn’t know how to handle a section of the public watching his every move.”

Despite arguably being the least visible of the Avengers, Hawkeye has proven to be immensely popular on the internet, with fan sites popping up dedicated to his prowess with a bow and arrow, as well as lauding the muscle definition of his arms. Sites like Hawkass.com and the Is That an Arrow in your Pocket? blog have been following the courageous cutie, posting candid images of him everywhere from New York to Nadi in Fiji!

This outburst is the latest in a string of erratic behavior from the archer, following a break-up with reported work partner and girlfriend Natalie Rushman, AKA the Black Widow. Our Avengers insider goes on to say “Widow’s continued appearances at the side of Captain America look to be causing cracks to form in The Avengers team, and it appears Hawkeye has been the first piece to fall.”

We just hope he’ll still be around to help save the day next time someone wants to take over the planet!

--Alice Auger

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