The media is weird, you guys. A month before this delightful cover story, our good old friends at Star were saying that Pepper Potts and Tony Stark were expecting a baby. Presumably this accounts for In Touch's use of the word "clucky", but certainly not for the rest of it.
Reading between the lines, Tony Stark and James Rhodes (aka the Air Force's Iron Patriot) have been hanging out a bit more than usual recently. I imagine it happens from time to time when you're busy saving the planet. And somehow, they jumped from that to "EVERYONE'S GAY OMG". Excuse me while I headdesk repeatedly. Because really? If any of these people are gay?
1. It's entirely their business, and
2. It's entirely up to them if and when they come out.
I'm about 90% sure that everything in this article is bullshit. But I'd hate to think that the media is outing ANYONE before they're ready to come out. Because that's so far from being okay that I have lost all ability to can, as Tumblr would say...